♥Natasha Nicole♥

I was on my grade 5 when I left my country (Philippines) and decided to have a peaceful life with my parents here in Doha. Me and my sister enrolled at PISQ (Philippine International School Qatar). I was assigned to a section called “Onyx”, I'm one of the late students who came. Everyday that passes by, I can't stop my eyes from staring and glancing from her, her name is Natasha Nicole. Since then, she's one of my crushes. It is too young for the both of us to be together as a couple so I tried to wait until grade 6. It was the starting of summer when I realized that I miss her so much. I can't even sleep early, trying to think about everything about her, she moves softly, takes nicely, and everything that she does is all admired by me. I expect her to be one of my close classmates this coming school year, and I expect higher form of friendship from her. Few months have passed and almost a week, our new school year will start. I'm so exited since then. When I arrived at the school, seeing almost all of my classmates last year enjoying and talking with each other, but then, Natasha wasn't there. I tried too look at the list and her name was even listed at another section (How come!). I asked her friends and they told me that Natasha won't study here anymore. It was a big NO for me, it seems that all my hopes for here were gone, all of my happiness of being in PISQ was all taken away. They saw my expression that seems uncomfortable. They asked me why. I told them “Someone is missing from me, someone I expect to come today, might not arrive”. They told me “Natasha isn't it?” (a bit laughing from them), I told them “Yes she is.......” (sadly pronounced), how could I say “no” since shes the only one missing from that class. It's a nice school year though, still getting steadily with all of my friends. I met a girl named Czarina, she once became one of my girlfriends, but honestly, our relationship wasn't that stable at all, so we decided to broke up. It's still on my mind, always and always, “If me and Natasha will be together, can she even do this to me?”. My curiosity is always present in my mind because she have never gone too close for me, even a conversation with her seems impossible now. I can't really find a girl suitable for my beings, then I just continued my studies well until the Graduation Day was near. “Wow! Two years already huh?” I was talking to myself mysteriously, “And who should I meet next year?!” another stupid question from myself. Tomorrow is the graduation day, I was still pretty busy preparing myself for tomorrow. Here's the big day. I'm on my seat together with my best friends while listening from each others speech while something comes out of my mind; “Having a girlfriend when you're in high school is much legal isn't it? If she's just here.......”, thinking deeply and looked depressed, thinking and trying to remember all of her appearance again. I think it's really a must to forget you at all, Natasha. I told myself to just let her enjoy her life and I'll do the same too, a speaker called my name “Mark Micah Magbanua”, “Oh then! It was me”. I stood and shook my hands with those who are at the stage too. My Parents and my sister congratulated me. I spent my time playing computer games, making websites and etc. just to make my time pass by every time I'm bored. We enrolled advanced and received our books, mine was for high school. It seems to have a very big difference than the other basic learning before. I've been promising myself to be a hardworking student this year and to try all my best to achieve my goal, to be on the top list. A few weeks are left before the next schoolyear arrives, it's really fast and I can't believe that I'm almost 3 years here in Doha. I can't sleep this night for tomorrow is the school day again. Here is it, here we are again with my friends (almost no changes at all), walking around trying to see and surprise ourselves on what section are we. I was assigned on “Wisdom” while the three sections are Newton, Wisdom, and Patience. While he first class was going on, our adviser Ma'am Trina greeted us for being freshmans, she seems good to us, a little strict in studies and attitude but not bad at all. Almost a week that I'm enjoying my life being a 1^st year student. One day it was a rumor that we will have a new adviser, a few days have passed and we all new that it's true. His name was Lorrd Lena (a strange name though). He introduced his self to us, knowing that he's quite good. One day, our new adviser announced a student coming, a girl, he said, I was curious of who she is, suddenly someone is knocking on the door, A tall, pretty girl with a crystal-like eyes stood up in front of the class, interrupting all that we are doing, she recited her name, “Hello I'm Natas.......”. What? I asked myself..don't tell me you're.....and there she is, Natasha, shes back with so much difference in all of her. I can't believe she's my classmate once again and she's assigned right in front of me. Starring my eyes on her is a happiness to me, specially when she will look at me right straight to my eyes with here face smiling, just like before, she's always on my heart and I really can't believe it's true.. “Yes she's here, right before my eyes”. I've became very happy since then, even thanking God for helping me see her again. A few days of being with her in class as a friend is not a way for her to be mine, I was chatting with her almost everyday and viewing her webcam everytime its available. Since I was waiting for here for years. I told her what is my real feeling about her, I told her everything that I like from her, I also told her the stories of my past being without her. I just want to make our friendship a little bit higher, I want to know her more and for us to help each other learning the right and wrong from in and out of our lives. A sweet “Yes” was given for me. How happy I am that time that I almost broke all things that I passed by our house because of my excitement of being with her with a higher treatment. Knocking and going inside our classroom's door was now a paradise for me, seeing her smiling too me every morning is a very great pleasure. Since then that she's mine and I'm her, I've never been addicted to computer games and focused hardly since it is one of my promises to her. I'm expecting to have higher grades in this quarter now. Never expecting that I'll be included in the top list, I was on #5. “I can't believe this is happening to me right now”...I told myself while looking at the mirror and staring at Natasha's picture. Sleeping every night is a very good thing for me too, having her in my dreams always, is just letting me to get closer to her and to know much about each other. She once mentioned in our chat that. “How about if the girl isn't ready yet?”....I asked her...” What do you mean?” she replied me with nothing and just said “Goodnight”, I was wondering of how can those words come out from her, I can't understand her at all but. She's beside me smiling and winking to me, I didn't mind those words and try to think that it's nothing and it nothing can't stop me being with her always. As days passes by, my love for her is growing continuously and expecting that she love me as I do love her too, I was wrong at all. Days passed by like wind, and she's almost not minding me at all, she's not answering my phone calls, not even a chat, I always woke up 6:00 at the morning till 5:00 on the afternoon wasting all my time staring at my laptop waiting for her.”She doesn't love me anymore?”I asked myself with my eyes gently covered with tears, I keep on asking the question “Why?” that she is now doing this to me. Almost a month of us having no conversation while our monthsary will come is a very sad situation for me. I can't talk with her anymore. Being with these problems everyday triggered me to know the truth that she's hiding from me. I passed a few amount of credits to her cellphone, enough for her to tell all that she wants. I am trying to sleep at night even though my mind is always on her. When I woke up this day, I found a message from her, I'm not excited at all to look what the content, realizing our situation and knowing what she is doing to me is a clue for me, I know that she doesn't want to continue our relationship that I took care and waited for years anymore, I didn't read the message but I myself know the true inside part of it because of my feelings. Since then, I can't talk to her, I even don't have rights anymore to be at her side always!Giving someone all your love is never an assurance that they'll love you back! Don't expect love in return; just wait for it to grow in their heart but if it doesn't, be contented that it grew in yours. How sad is this, expecting too much from her wasn't right at all. Loving and giving her all my best wasn't worth it. It is time to say goodbye for her now?Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one so that when we finally meet the right person, we will know how to be grateful for that gift. It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives. Since both of us are not together anymore, I can't focus that much on my studies, getting line of 7s on my card. I found my life nothing but a useless piece of crap driving myself away from her. I still cant make my head to look straight to the teacher but I found my eyes always at her. Christian, a friend of mine told me something, a crush, and so what? He means someone having a crush on me, ow okay I'll listen to him then. He told me a girl named Celine, she's, smart compared to Natasha, but that's not my point at all. Natasha have told me all the good things that I must do, all the disciplines that I should go and follow, and the right way of being a nice and valuable person to everyone, was all thought on me by her. She have been a part of my life and I will never forget her whatever it takes. Seeing Celine everyday everytime I walk through is a cool thing too, she looks at me strangely that her eyes follows me always.

♥Natasha Nicole♥

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